Thursday, September 10, 2009
Adrian Garcia's Most Problematic Paragraph
Many people believe that this hobby is a thing that anyone and everyone can actually do. Some also believe that people who DJ(Need to add commas before who and after DJ) are kids who have nothing better else to do with their lives. But knowing that I am a DJ now, I must say that all these people are wrong. This hobby takes a lot of talent and those who pursue DJ’ing are smart in school and do tons of things with their lives and better themselves all around as a person.(Run-on sentence) I can say this because I am experiencing this at the moment.
Most Problematic Paragraph
One muggy summer night when the air was thick with humidity and the mosquitoes bit over and over again. I stood on the mound with a freshly opened game ball. Its bleach white skin was only a temporary to the sweat and dirt that it would accumulate over the 7 innings of baseball ahead. "Hey niner here play ball,” screamed the umpire. The adrenaline rush I got before I threw that first pitch was incredible. After throwing 2 innings my arm felt great my team was making plays and I mean really good plays not just fundamental plays that are expected in the begging of the season. This was the end of the road and everyone was on the ball. Likewise was the opposing team from near by Saint Charles. I threw a couple K’s over 2 innings and by the fifth inning our bats started light the sky up with line drives. The other team through started to catch me on a couple bad pitches and they produced a steady offense throughout the game.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Second Draft
My early childhood years were full of tee ball, peewee, and junior basketball games. It was hard to be the star player when my teammates were all older than me. I was always the youngest player on the field. Sure there is going to be some mild intimidation at first but from a very you age I had always loved baseball more than any other sport. Eventually by the time I hit double digits I stuck strictly to baseball. By devoting all my time and effort into baseball I was able to refine my "fundamental baseball skills". That’s what my pitching camp coach always reiterates to me every 60 min session I had with him. I started throwing with Chuck Neil in the spring of 2005 by time I was fourteen. He ran a pitching camp in Naperville, Illinois that was known for producing some of the top pitchers in the area. My parents would drive me there 3 days a week for sixty minute session with Chuck. From the first day I could tell he was very knowledgeable on the art of pitching. He help me developed my pitching skills significantly faster than the rest of the kids my age.
This opened new doors for me to play with the North Aurora River Rats fourteen year old travel team. They only take a select amount of players and travel all over state and sometimes out to surrounding states for tournaments. This allowed me to play the best of the best that were the same age as me. Right around this time I noticed that I could compete with the older kids. My intimidation and fear that I had before of being the youngest player never crossed my mind when I was pitching now because we were all on an even age. In the travel leagues I was able to be tested. All the years of travel baseball ending up building to my most defining moment in my baseball years to date.
It was early August 2007 and I was 16. I found myself on the team bus to Northern Illinois Travel World Series. All my hard work over the past 10 years finally paid off that year. When I got to Rockford I was in the zone I knew I would probably have to throw twice within a 3 day span. I knew what to expect I had played most of the teams there at least once during the regular season. They ended up saving me the first game 3 games and I was on the spotlight for the last game on the season. The pressure only caused me to be more focused. After watching my team blow through 3 games with no problem I was able to use my immense confidence to push a side all the pressure. I had been dreaming of this game since tee ball and I was in the exact position I wanted to be.
One muggy summer night when the air was thick with humidity and the mosquitoes bit over and over again. I stood on the mound with a freshly opened game ball. Its bleach white skin was only a temporary to the sweat and dirt that it would accumulate over the 7 innings of baseball ahead. "Hey niner here play ball,” screamed the umpire. The adrenaline rush I got before I threw that first pitch was incredible. After throwing 2 innings my arm felt great my team was making plays and I mean really good plays not just fundamental plays that are expected in the begging of the season. This was the end of the road and everyone was on the ball. Likewise was the opposing team from near by Saint Charles. I threw a couple K’s over 2 innings and by the fifth inning our bats started light the sky up with line drives. The other team through started to catch me on a couple bad pitches and they produced a steady offense throughout the game. It was the final inning and we were up by two runs. Before I went out my dad came over to me and said, " hey buddy remember this is your game go out there relax and throw hard." I did just that I threw as hard as I could and stuck the first batter out and the second. All my teammates started to yell encouragement out from the field behind me. The next batter gave me the scare of my life. After three or four pitches he cracked out dead center on me. My heart dropped and I was thanking God that no other runners where on base. They were now within one run of forcing extra innings. This put me on the spot, my arm was dead, and all are other available pitchers were still nursing their recently used arms. I had to force next batter out no matter what. After 5 pitches, which seemed like an eternity I was about to struck him out on a high fast ball that I got him to chase at.
My early childhood years were full of tee ball, peewee, and junior basketball games. It was hard to be the star player when my teammates were all older than me. I was always the youngest player on the field. Sure there is going to be some mild intimidation at first but from a very you age I had always loved baseball more than any other sport. Eventually by the time I hit double digits I stuck strictly to baseball. By devoting all my time and effort into baseball I was able to refine my "fundamental baseball skills". That’s what my pitching camp coach always reiterates to me every 60 min session I had with him. I started throwing with Chuck Neil in the spring of 2005 by time I was fourteen. He ran a pitching camp in Naperville, Illinois that was known for producing some of the top pitchers in the area. My parents would drive me there 3 days a week for sixty minute session with Chuck. From the first day I could tell he was very knowledgeable on the art of pitching. He help me developed my pitching skills significantly faster than the rest of the kids my age.
This opened new doors for me to play with the North Aurora River Rats fourteen year old travel team. They only take a select amount of players and travel all over state and sometimes out to surrounding states for tournaments. This allowed me to play the best of the best that were the same age as me. Right around this time I noticed that I could compete with the older kids. My intimidation and fear that I had before of being the youngest player never crossed my mind when I was pitching now because we were all on an even age. In the travel leagues I was able to be tested. All the years of travel baseball ending up building to my most defining moment in my baseball years to date.
It was early August 2007 and I was 16. I found myself on the team bus to Northern Illinois Travel World Series. All my hard work over the past 10 years finally paid off that year. When I got to Rockford I was in the zone I knew I would probably have to throw twice within a 3 day span. I knew what to expect I had played most of the teams there at least once during the regular season. They ended up saving me the first game 3 games and I was on the spotlight for the last game on the season. The pressure only caused me to be more focused. After watching my team blow through 3 games with no problem I was able to use my immense confidence to push a side all the pressure. I had been dreaming of this game since tee ball and I was in the exact position I wanted to be.
One muggy summer night when the air was thick with humidity and the mosquitoes bit over and over again. I stood on the mound with a freshly opened game ball. Its bleach white skin was only a temporary to the sweat and dirt that it would accumulate over the 7 innings of baseball ahead. "Hey niner here play ball,” screamed the umpire. The adrenaline rush I got before I threw that first pitch was incredible. After throwing 2 innings my arm felt great my team was making plays and I mean really good plays not just fundamental plays that are expected in the begging of the season. This was the end of the road and everyone was on the ball. Likewise was the opposing team from near by Saint Charles. I threw a couple K’s over 2 innings and by the fifth inning our bats started light the sky up with line drives. The other team through started to catch me on a couple bad pitches and they produced a steady offense throughout the game. It was the final inning and we were up by two runs. Before I went out my dad came over to me and said, " hey buddy remember this is your game go out there relax and throw hard." I did just that I threw as hard as I could and stuck the first batter out and the second. All my teammates started to yell encouragement out from the field behind me. The next batter gave me the scare of my life. After three or four pitches he cracked out dead center on me. My heart dropped and I was thanking God that no other runners where on base. They were now within one run of forcing extra innings. This put me on the spot, my arm was dead, and all are other available pitchers were still nursing their recently used arms. I had to force next batter out no matter what. After 5 pitches, which seemed like an eternity I was about to struck him out on a high fast ball that I got him to chase at.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Gabby's story
1)"Boston ended up being a complete disaster. The schools were branched off in the woods, people had accents, the streets were really long and weird, the speed limits were so low and police officers seemed to be everywhere." This is a good description because you talk about how the schools,people and streets are different from Chicago.
2) You should go more in dept on how your mom's boyfriend treated you differently compared to his own child. That could really add to the overall effect of having a father figure in your life.
3)Not having a father figure in your life has forced you to grow up and mature a little faster than normal but in the ended you are more prepared for the obstacles in life that you will eventually have to overcome.
4)She became a stronger person by going through most of her life without a father so I believe her literacy is growing up early.
5)It is a good story, I can really tell that you had to grow up faster than most girls and that life isn't always a fairy tale. You do a good job naming many specific events that really stick out in your mind they are good because the are memorable.
6)You have a lot of interesting points in the story that you should elaborate on like how your life was different once your mom starting dating her boyfriend, or how it changed when you got a new baby sister , and also how life was different in Boston.
1)"Boston ended up being a complete disaster. The schools were branched off in the woods, people had accents, the streets were really long and weird, the speed limits were so low and police officers seemed to be everywhere." This is a good description because you talk about how the schools,people and streets are different from Chicago.
2) You should go more in dept on how your mom's boyfriend treated you differently compared to his own child. That could really add to the overall effect of having a father figure in your life.
3)Not having a father figure in your life has forced you to grow up and mature a little faster than normal but in the ended you are more prepared for the obstacles in life that you will eventually have to overcome.
4)She became a stronger person by going through most of her life without a father so I believe her literacy is growing up early.
5)It is a good story, I can really tell that you had to grow up faster than most girls and that life isn't always a fairy tale. You do a good job naming many specific events that really stick out in your mind they are good because the are memorable.
6)You have a lot of interesting points in the story that you should elaborate on like how your life was different once your mom starting dating her boyfriend, or how it changed when you got a new baby sister , and also how life was different in Boston.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
My early childhood years were full of tee ball, peewee, and junior basketball games. It was hard to be the star player when my teammates were all older than me. I was one of those kids who was born around the cut off date for age limits so every season I was always placed in divisions were I was the youngest kid on the team. I was always intimidated by the older players because they were so much bigger than me. Trust me when you are young age is a big deal. This intimidation always caused me to be very shy and I wouldn't make many friends. This all change when in the summer of 2005.
It was early May and I was on the way to the first practice with my dad. I knew what to expect in the first practice the usual who's who questions and then a couple hitting drills and fielding just to get an idea of the team's skill level. Before this season third base had been my position since tee ball. The coach asked if I had ever pitched I said, "no but I'm willing to try anything to get in coach." I thought maybe he was just asking because we did not have a full roster yet. Little did I know how serious he really was.
As the season progressed I maybe got an inning here and there but mostly just bench time. It was hard to bond with the team when I never got to play with them. So by mid-season I was contemplating quiting, until one muggy summer night when we were on the verge of getting slaughtered my couch told me, "hey niner go warm up in the pen." I was shocked but very excited to show him that I could pitch. Being a third basemen for 4 years gave me a little bit stronger arm than most kids my size. I warmed up and when in to relieve the pitcher who was not having a good day at all. Before I went out my dad came over to me and said, " hey buddy remember your getting slaughtered right now so you got nothing to lose so go out there relax and throw hard." I did just that I threw as hard as I could and stuck the first batter out and the second. I was expecting to get rocked after watching 5 innings of our starting pitcher get pounded. All my teammates started to yell encouragement out from the field behind me. Before then I didn't even think they new my name. I finished the last two innings with 5 strikeouts no walks and no more runs scored. A bunch of the older players came up to me and said they did no I could pitch and I told them I didn't know either and that it was my first time ever. After that game I pitched almost every game and felt like I was actually part of the team I was an awesome feeling. For once wanted to go to my games because I had so many friends and they all relied on me to help our team win.
It was early May and I was on the way to the first practice with my dad. I knew what to expect in the first practice the usual who's who questions and then a couple hitting drills and fielding just to get an idea of the team's skill level. Before this season third base had been my position since tee ball. The coach asked if I had ever pitched I said, "no but I'm willing to try anything to get in coach." I thought maybe he was just asking because we did not have a full roster yet. Little did I know how serious he really was.
As the season progressed I maybe got an inning here and there but mostly just bench time. It was hard to bond with the team when I never got to play with them. So by mid-season I was contemplating quiting, until one muggy summer night when we were on the verge of getting slaughtered my couch told me, "hey niner go warm up in the pen." I was shocked but very excited to show him that I could pitch. Being a third basemen for 4 years gave me a little bit stronger arm than most kids my size. I warmed up and when in to relieve the pitcher who was not having a good day at all. Before I went out my dad came over to me and said, " hey buddy remember your getting slaughtered right now so you got nothing to lose so go out there relax and throw hard." I did just that I threw as hard as I could and stuck the first batter out and the second. I was expecting to get rocked after watching 5 innings of our starting pitcher get pounded. All my teammates started to yell encouragement out from the field behind me. Before then I didn't even think they new my name. I finished the last two innings with 5 strikeouts no walks and no more runs scored. A bunch of the older players came up to me and said they did no I could pitch and I told them I didn't know either and that it was my first time ever. After that game I pitched almost every game and felt like I was actually part of the team I was an awesome feeling. For once wanted to go to my games because I had so many friends and they all relied on me to help our team win.
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